Earthseed

by Octavia Butler

Here we are –
Energy,
Mass,
Life,
Shaping life,
Mind,
Shaping Mind
God,
Shaping God.
Consider—
We are born
Not with purpose,
But with potential.

All that you touch
You Change.

All that you Change
Changes you.

The only lasting truth
Is Change.

God
Is Change.

---

During the past year, I have been student teaching at Santa Rosa High School. I was born and raised in Santa Rosa, making this an excellent opportunity to learn more about the people within my own community while simultaneously learning more about myself. Playing the role of teacher changed me in more ways than I ever could have possibly accounted for.

In my twenty-five years of living, I cannot recall a taller task than playing the role of Teacher. I believe that anyone can choose to be a teacher, but not everyone has what it takes to perform the duty well. I often wondered this year, as January approached with the impending duty of student-teaching: Which side am I on? The light or the dark? Can I create a room full of wonder and instill a desire to learn? Could I possibly fail these kids despite my efforts? The questions in my head refused to be silenced up until that first moment I was standing at the podium in front of my fifth period sophomores and the screaming silence shrouded the entire room; it was just us now, and I was expected to lead.

Each day in the classroom brought with it hundreds of decisions and thousands of possibilities. I found myself completely consumed in the analysis of past actions, present choices, and future ideas for creating both a challenging and welcoming learning environment.  Paralysis by analysis was not an option when facing this beast of an undertaking. Every action had to be made with intent, purpose, and care. I had to act swiftly, but not hastily. I had to be strong but also soft, both demanding and understanding. Each day I walked in to meet my students, head held high, modeling an excitement and appreciation for the opportunity to work with such strong, diverse, and intelligent human beings. In the beginning kids don’t simply handout respect. I had to show them that there was value in what I wanted to offer. I had to reflect authenticity and relatability. Many times, it felt more like acting or performing than teaching.

No matter what happened in the classroom or in my personal life, I approached each day with unmatched enthusiasm. As the first days turned into weeks, I was still afraid for the day that the students might turn on me, but I began to see it was nothing to fear so long as I offered my authentic self to them. Every child deserves an ally in the classroom, a champion as some might say. Someone that won’t give up on them; a teacher that refuses to give up on any single student. A true teacher is not simply knocked down to suddenly find they have lost the urge to teach. A teacher knows that bad days are part of the job. Focus on what I can change and adapt for the next lesson. There were good days and bad days, I was not perfect and I did not expect my kids to be perfect. I focused on what I could control by modeling the respectful, kind, courteous, generous, caring, honest, and hard-working attitude that I want my students to develop within themselves.

Weeks became months and the walls began to come down as I got to know each of my students. I began to see their smiles and I would always smile back. I had to spend months with my students to fully realize my role. I am an English Language Arts Teacher but to them, I was simply Mr. P. The most important aspect of teaching became rapidly apparent to me. It was more important for me to become a consistent, caring, and conscientious role-model than it was for me to be an expert in English Language Arts pedagogy.

I can’t say enough good things about my experience as a student teacher. If you aren’t into gushy, long-winded lines about how awesome an experience was, then don’t worry because I am going to keep it short. Santa Rosa High School is the most accepting, kind, and caring high school atmosphere I have ever been a part of. Each staff member, teacher and administrator were incredibly helpful to work with; my teacher mentors Annie Samuels, Levi Jones, and Jessica Dennis were incredible mentors to have and I will forever be indebted to them for assisting my transformation into a true teacher. Each student was truly memorable to teach; even on the worst days I never felt that teaching was something I did not emphatically enjoy participating in.

I would like this reflection to close with an assertion that I had never anticipated making prior to my student-teaching at Santa Rosa High School: The Artquest program offers students a meaningful opportunity for educational and occupational opportunities. I firmly feel without a doubt this program is absolutely essential for the future success of the school. Based on my observations, interactions, and experiences with the students and faculty, it’s abundantly clear that this program is the ultimate unifying element of the entire school.

I was only able to truly appreciate art in my early twenties, unaware of the immersive fact that art touches everything. The importance of art and its direct connection with establishing meaning to life cannot be ignored as we step into the next decade of student development. The Artquest showcase truly amazed me, a word that can be thrown around hastily but I was in fact amazed with the remarkable quality of artwork that students had created. Students from my own classes and students I had met in passing, each creating incredibly meaningful and powerful pieces to present to thousands of eyes. The level of desire, commitment, and ownership displayed by each student was astounding. Thousands of students and parents were in attendance with hundreds of other community members piling in to admire the creative presentation of cultural collaboration that takes place within this high school community. These young people didn’t flinch as they presented their hard work to hundreds of people. The showcase was not just an opportunity for students to show their arts to others; it was an entire community coming together to appreciate the astounding achievements of these young people and to celebrate them for it.

 

Walking out of that showcase as I left the photo gallery was the moment I realized that this program must be protected. The Artquest program contains undeniable value and should be given the equal opportunity for future success as a public high school program that it unequivocally deserves.

– James Pennington